so i said i was quitting...

...to scrapbook.....BUT i guess not! maybe a little here and there....just for fun! SO, since my christmas post, i celebrated my 32nd(woah!!!) birthday, emme's first and eb's 4th valentine's day, anderson's 36(woah!!!) birthday, and sweet emme girl's FIRST birthday! i'm about to be done with the downer that i call work and i am TOO excited about spending every second of my short summer with eb and emme, oh-and anderson and millie, too!

i do want to write really quickly about a bit of a personal battle that i am fighting. you may actually know about this anyway, even though i haven't spoken of it to many people, and i haven't officially written about it. iiiiiiiiiii, have graves disease. yep, i'm 32 and i have an autoimmune disease! i won't die(i don't think!). this is treatable. this is curable 1 in 5. this will be a coincedence for me. it will not be hereditary. eb and emme won't stand a chance of developing this. i am extremely unlucky, and extremely BLESSED all at the same time. RIGHT?!??!?!?!??!?! thank you Lord that this is all that i have. RIGHT?!?! i have had many emotions through this....i'm mad, then i'm sad, i'm embarrassed, then i'm ok, i'm scared, then i'm not, i'm laughing, then i want to hit a wall! the comfort phrase i have heard the most is "be thankful it's not cancer, atleast yours is treatable". so true, but easier said than done. this IS hard for me. i use to have major panic attacks, then i learned how to talk myself out of them. i have pretty much been able to take full control of anything physical that i've ever needed or wanted to. well not this. i AM scared. i AM better. i don't cry all the time and i don't feel as sorry for myself as i did when i was first diagnosed. but still, i AM scared. as i write, my hands and legs are shaking. my teeth have a small chatter. my eyes feel gritty, itchy and irritated. my vision is a bit blurry and i have to squint occasionally to focus. i am burning up. my heart still races, skips, and pounds, races, skips, then pounds. my resting heart rate is still around 100. i suck down 7 pills a day. 6 anti-thyroid, and a 50 mg beta blocker to control what i call the "crack addict" symptoms. it sucks! the beta blocker starts wearing off about 7 p.m.-that's why i'm having the crack addict symptoms right now. BUT, i am better! really, i am. i will beat this! if i am lucky enough to have gotten it, then i can be lucky enough to get rid of it! do pray for me, please. i am not as emotional now, my piti-party is coming to an end. i was put on our prayer list at church( i wasn't sure about this bc that means that i'll receive lots of attention), i'm writing openly about my disease(jeez, sounds awful!)...all of which are HUGE for me! i really don't like to complain about being sick. i've toughed out many sicknesses before without saying a word to anyone but anderson because complaning and letting others know that i am sick makes me feel like i'm a hypochondriac! this IS embarrassing for me. i didn't break my arm, i acquired an autoimmune disease with the most deadly and disgusting sounding name ever! my eyeballs may very well look as though they will literally pop out of my head one day(see, now you'll always be looking=embarrassing!). thank the Lord i've always had very "asian looking" squinty eyes. my nickname in highschool was "weez dawn chung!", pretty creative use of my wdc inititals, huh! my dr. said this definitely works to my advantage! i was suppose to have lost nearly 30 pounds because my metabolism is ridiculously high.....NOPE, NOT ME! i've been as hungry as 600 pound man. i've been eating for about 5 months straight! this happens to only a fraction of people diagnosed with graves...go figure! once again, sucks! if i'm going to have a disease then i should atleast have the opportunity to get skinny! *$%*!#$%^%$#& *%#$%^&*!!!!!! graves disease affects less than 1% of the population. graves disease is a type of autoimmune disease that causes over-activity of the thyroid gland, causing hyperthyroidism. the thyroid gland helps set the rate of metabolism, which is the rate at which the body uses energy. when the thyroid is too active, it makes more thyroid hormones than the body needs. high levels of thyroid hormones can cause side effects such as weight loss(whatever!!!), rapid heart rate and nervousness(crack addict symptoms!). this is an uncommon disease that affects only 2 percent of all women at some time in their lives. mainly during the birthing years. it is very uncommon in men. one of the first things i did after my diagnosis was to Google celebrities with graves disease. barbara and george bush sr. both have graves disease(extremely rare!). many celebrities have thyroid issues. i personally know 4 people with some type of thyroid issue. but, they don't have an autoimmune disease. there goes me having my pity party again! you see, graves disease caused my hyperthroidism. you can have hyperthyroidism, and not graves. but if you have graves, you're gonna have hyperthyroid. a hyperthyroid is much more dangerous than a hypothyroid. i will eventually become hypothyroid(because we are in the process of killing of my thyroid now) and will have to take a daily hormone supplement. i will have no metabolism and will struggle even more with my weight than i do know. i will however admit that if you're gonna have an autoimmune disease, this (graves) is the one to have! in comparrison to the others, this is much less severe if treated properly. the biggest fear i have is heart issues. i have a mitrovalve prolapse regurgitation...so the racing, pounding, skipping heart that graves disease gave me is a bit terrifying. "nonetheless", i know one thing for sure. getting over my own fear of personally accepting and discussing this disease amongst family members and friends was the best thing that could have happened to me. it has taken a bit of time to be fully open about it. thank you ALL for being SO supportive, caring, loving and concerned. i know you are praying for us! i do! i have had a handfull of folks come to me and say "hey, i just want to pray with you for a second"....wow! i have received cards, inspirational quotes, texts of bible verses to go and read, inspirational books, hugs, calls, and prayers beyond what i'm sure i'll ever really know. thank you, thank you, thank you. i will beat this. my prayer is that i will be the best mommy that i can be, and that God sees fit for eb and emme not to inherit this if it is His will.

and so, my "really quick" write-turned in to a book! thanks for reading! next post=my sweet emme's first birthday party!!!!

christmas, christmas time....

....is GONE! i suppose since today is January 26th, that i should say happy new year, or happy valentine's day for that matter. this post is a month late. i think this Christmas was the quickest one yet! it sure was fun though. anderson and i LOVE christmas. we are always depressed to see it go, especially now that we have eb and emme. it brings us such joy and happiness to watch them experience the emotions, events and excitement of the holidays. it was eb's 4th christmas, and emme's 1st!

the holiday season began with, well....SANTA, of course!

followed by the newville christmas parade

(the first one eb has ever riden in)-ha!

bell ringing with our church

eb loved santa

emme-not so much!

icing for our gingerbread house

our sad little gingerbread house


don't forget eb's birthday...

sandwiched in the middle of christmas celebrations

eb's school christmas party-

emme didn't have one just yet,

so she went to eb's

christmas eve at vicvic and poppop's-

look at eb sweating!

he was WIDE open!

falling back...

and INTO the tree!

reagan, eb, emme and reed

poppop and vicvic with the 4 granchildren

cookies and milk for santa(emme had crashed!)

a ritual of reading Happy Birthday Jesus, and

Twas the Night Before Christmas

mr. elf's last night

eb's santa

LOVED his LSU jersey

emme's santa

SO excited!


millie's christmas

emme on christmas day with doc,

suesue, and cindy's gifts!

our christmas card

Luke 1:14

And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth.

3?!?!?

how that happened, i don't know! few people know how ridiculously sentimental i am. the night before eb's first birthday i rocked him......for hours! i could NOT put him down! his second birthday-same thing.....his 3rd-same thing! i know, i know.....birthday's are suppose to be happy. don't get me wrong-i am SO thankful for each and every birthday of those whom i love, but as for my children....it makes me sad! i mean like-cry for a week, sad. ridiculous? probably. but that's what i do. bittersweet i suppose. at every stage of eb and emme's life, i want to freeze. i always say "i want them to stay just where they are right now". well....except for maybe eb's first 3months of life.....he CRIED, and CRIED and CRIED. so i will admit a bit of rushing during that part of his life. my friend buffie told me that you are stressed from the time you discover that you are pregnant. very true. she also said that every age comes with different "stresses". so, i am happy with the stresses that i have with eb and emme right now. they are under my wing. the have no desire to be without me or away from me(unless it's to go to vicvic's). that's how i like it and that's how i want it to stay!!! i do not want nor am i ready for the stresses that come with them getting any older. i need and want more time. i want to be given the time that i need to enjoy them. i'll never have them this way again. if you are a stay at home mom, i pray that you never take it for granted!

3! i remember when anna clare turned 3. that was big. and now it's eb! that means that in less than 3 years he will be required to go to school?!?! i just don't know how i'm gonna manage that.

eb's exciting birthday party arrival!

So, happy-but with a heavy heart, i planned a landmark park barnyard playground birthday party. it was complete with barn/farm animal plates, napkins, stickers, party favors, cake and ballons( 3 of which were sucked out of my car like a tornado had hit...cute ones, too. a huge cow-with utters, a huge pink pig and a big red #3.)!!!!!! and yep-i cried when they flew away...it was a big open sky and i watched them until i couldn't see them any longer. regardless-eb had no idea and he had a ball! thanks to all of our sweet family and friends for helping us celebrate with him!


"come on, come on"


reagan is so patient with her wild cousin!

we sing happy birthday and have birthday talk the whole month of december. i'm super glad that eb's birthday isn't on christmas eve or christmas day....but it is however, close enough to feel a little sorry for him, so we try to make it extra special. he normally has 3 parties. a friend party, a school party and a family party. this year we just did the friend and family parties. his school christmas party usually falls on his birthday, and well....we just don't want to interfere with the celebration of the birth of Jesus!

on saturday the 20th, vicvic and poppop took reed, reagan, and eb out to logan's for dinner. he enjoyed that! what a great pre-birthday treat! i was (of course) sad that he wasn't with me and that part of the last day of his 2 year old'ness was minus his mommy! ridiculous? again, probably so!

So, on eb's REAL birthday....we woke him for church.......

I HOPE TO INSERT THE VIDEO HERE SOON!(our brandnew handycam is not compatible with our brand new computer...go figure!) it is so sweet!

at church, he had a birthday party, but nor for him!..for Jesus in his sunday school class-ha!(poor eb!). we came home, had a good lunch and down for naps they went. at 4:00.....both were still sleeping! doc, suesue and cindy were already here! we knew how excited he'd be so we went to wake him up! he wanted to wear his lightning mcqueen pajama shirt and his handy manny pajama pants.....and thats exactly what he did!

our family party was very laid back and relaxed. eb ran wild and we let him. we had bbq and a peanut butter birthday cake. yum! i made sure to really concentrate on watching him as we sang and then as he blew out his candles. i want that vision to always be clear.

i love that child! he is MY baby. he is such a great kid! he's witty, quick, and very funny. he's determined, sensitive, mean, and sweet! he's thoughtful, loving and kind. he's smart and healthy. he is everything that i prayed for and more! i LOVE you boogie! i hope that you had a great birthday month!

i read this often...it says it ALL......i hope that you treasure it the way that i do.....

A PARENT'S PRAYER

They're only little once.
Grant me the wisdom to guide them down the path that their feet should take.
For I know that they can never turn back and walk those paths with me again.
Give me the wisdom to guide their feet so that someday they'll be able to walk alone.
They're only little once.
Give me the time I need to enjoy them.
For I know that after they're grown, I'll never have another chance
to tell stories and pretend at those tea parties.
I'll never have another chance
to watch them in a school play or sing in church, or to see them catch that first fish or score that first goal or hit that first home run ball.
Give me the time in life's busy schedule to have fun with my children.
They're only little once.
Let me be a loving parent.
Let me correct and not just punish, explain and not merely scold.
Let me know when to correct, and how often, and when it's best to just look the other way.
Help me be patient and give me a gentle hand to mould them into better people.
They're only little once.
Let me be a good teacher and an even better example.
Give me the right words and deeds to teach them.
Help me to teach them about You and how to walk in Your ways
so that when they are old they will not depart from Your ways.
For they're only little one time,
only innocent and trusting and pliable for a space of time, one minute in an eternity.
Let me do my best for them while I have the chance.

Amen

~~ Author Unknown ~~

never have i ever.....been SO thankful!

so, this is a little late, but i had to post about our wonderful thanksgiving at vicvic and poppop's....it just doesn't get any better! i am so blessed for my two little turkeys, i am so thankful to have them! i am also so thankful to have my amazing husband, my amazing family and my amazing friends! i thank God everyday for my many, many blessings.

yum!

emme watches from the doorway

bathtime!

my diego fruit bat and hot pink poodle!

if you even somewhat know me, then you know that i have a way of making ANYTHING sound good and enjoyable! i have a way of swaying even the most un-swayed person. when i mentioned this story to my friend kelli she said something like "you did not manipulate him into being a 'diego bat'?!" uummm well yep, i did.

it all started in september when eb declared he wanted to be diego for halloween. he absolutely loves diego, and i'm ok with that. diego is super cute, super caring, and super smart. i am amazed at what eb learns in just one episode of "go diego go". so, i'm excited and i start diego costume hunting. it took about 5 minutes to discover that there were approximately 3 types of diego costumes. and yep, you guessed it, i didn't like a single one. the shorts were long, the vest was short, it was awful, really awful. oh no, what am i going to do? he loves diego, but i just can't send him out in this cheap looking cheesy costume. and btw, it wasn't cheap. it was around $40 before halloween. yes, kristen-i payed attention! so, off to dothan i go-trying to find a diego costume that would work. target-i can normally find anything that i need there. nope, target had no diego costume, BUT THEY DID have a diego halloween dvd, and in it diego dresses up as none other than a fruit bat! that's it! i rushed home, popped in the dvd, and began to talk big about how cool it was that diego was a bat. "eb do you wanna be a diego bat"? "yep" he said. "daddy, i'm gonna be a fruit bat like Ago"-that's how he says "diego". mission=accomplished! is that awful?!?! he was SO happy, and he was the cutest little bat i've ever seen. don't fret, i'm sure that this will be the last year that i will be able to sway him. oh goodness!

and here's my hot pink poodle. somehow emme has acquired the nickname "poodle". i'm not sure how or why really, but it really does fit her. it's funny, i really don't even like poodles, but i sure do love this one! you wouldn't believe the people that stopped just to get a glimpse of and gloat over her! she even made it on the headland chamber website. check it out!
http://headlandal.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=137&Itemid=140

that's big stuff, huh? : )

what a great 3rd halloween for eb and what a great 1st halloween for emme! i am so lucky to be their mommy!

reed and reagan are so big now! reed stopped dressing up years ago, but reagan still enjoys it. they both always come to our neighborhood to trick-or-treat. they are the best neice and nephew in the world. anderson and i both agree on that!

here's a great shot of eb and reagan trick-or-treating. check out reed on his ripstick!

reagan loves emme and emme loves reagan!

i feel like i'm falling for FALL!

if you have children, then you know about noggin. and if you know about noggin, then you've heard moose a. moose sing this song. I LOVE IT! me, eb and emme dance and sing everytime it comes on! FALL...has to be my favorite time of year. it doesn't get ANY better than october, november and december(even though that's winter, i guess). moose a. moose says it best...."fall is a prelude to all kinds of holiday cheer!" fall IS so distinct. isn't it weird how the seasons come with feelings? does it do that for you? you know-you've got that feeling that you get when it's fall, the feeling that you get when it's winter, a feeling that you get when it's spring, and a feeling that you get when it's summer. well, the "fall feeling" is the best to me. and i don't mean the kind of feeling like you're cool in the fall, cold in the winter, warm in the spring and hot in the summer. i'm an emotional person. i'm sensitive and sentimental. every event, every memory, every thought-has a sight, sound, smell and feel for me. crazy? i dunno! maybe you feel it too. ironically, i wanted a fall wedding-i didn't get it. i wanted my children to have fall birthday's-i didn't get that either! but it's still my favorite. here's just a peek of why it is, and if you don't understand why i love it, this will certainly help you....here's the link to hear moose a. moose!http://www.totlol.com/watch/f38SlRh0-Ic/falling-For-Fall-Autumn-Song---Moose-A.-Moose---Noggin/0/

AND... a few more sweet fall pics...eb, kisa, reagan, jw, avery and emme

seaside...

there's just something about this place that is magical to me. it's become pretty popular and somewhat of a tourist attraction, but still somehow manages to keep its calm, tranquil, family oriented atmosphere. my first stay was 6 years ago. anderson and i started an october trip for our moms. we've been every year since. it's a special place to us. we even honeymooned there. but i am convinced...october is THE best time to be there. it's cool, crisp and refreshing. i love to hear the sound of football games via television in the air, even though i don't really care who's playing or winning. it's all in the sound.

our stays, which use to be quite and calm, have through the years(thanks to eb and emme) transitioned to loud and active! i really wouldn't have it any other way!

i love that anderson treats us to breakfast from modica market every morning and that we all enjoy it out on the porch. i love how eb runs around on the porch and how emme sits and watches all of the action from him as well as from the avid bikers, walkers, and runners. i love to go to the beach late morning, and have "Pickles" for lunch. i love our afternoon naps. i love to stroll around and play on the playground with eb and emme in the late afternoon. i love to watch eb run in the amphitheatre at night with such freedom, laughter and joy-without a single care in the world. i love walking emme around at night and seeing her reaction to the beautiful restaurant and shop lights. i love to have dinner outside in the heart of seaside. i love strolling at night and getting heavenly's ice cream. the walk home is always with momma. it's always fun to laugh and sum up the days events together.

i totally embrace this place....it's sights, sounds, and smells. this place does something for my soul. we all seem to be at peace there-despite the added ruckus, compliments of eb and emme! i have become attached to our little sandcastle, even though it's not really ours. i want eb and emme to gain a love for it in the way that we all have. the love that we have found for seaside isn't just in the place, it's in the wonderful memories that we have made there and in the future that it holds for our little family.